It’s a night before my birthday.
Yet I’m thinking bout something.
So many things.
What have I achieved until now?
Family has become more and more important to me
Mom, Dad, brothers, sister, brother in law, sister in laws, nephew, nieces
Feels like their wishes are more important than mine
I want to fulfill their hopes and dreams
Of themselves, or of me
I want to be anything they want me to be
Because I believe, they want me to be happy, they want simply the best for me.
If I look back to what I have or had
Then it will be an ungrateful me if I dare to ask for more to The Lord
I have been very healthy
I have gotten very wealthy (on my point of view)
I have more than just enough of love
Love love love
My Dear Lord has given me much of rizq and blessings.
With this life you have lent to me,
I beg You, Lord,
To prolong my chance to proof my love to you
To make my family happy
And to share love with the ones whom You permit.
Thank You, Lord.
I love You
Though my love to you is nothing to compare to yours to me
I love you.
It hurts so bad.
When all our good sides, are just exactly not the things wanted by the one whom we love.
And all our weaknesses are exposed as clear as you were walking naked.
Hari ini salah satu ujian terberat bagi Gw.
Pagi2 dimarahin nyokap karena terlambat ke mesjid.
I’m sorry mother.
I had to take care of these two kids first.
Mandiin dan siapin baju 2 anak.
Gw sendiri telat bangun.
Kenapa Gw telat bangun?
Karena Gw tidur larut.
Kenapa Gw tidur larut?
Karena si kecil belum mau tidur trus berantem sama kakaknya.
Dan Gw kecapekan.
Kenapa Gw kecapekan?
Karena gw sabtu seharian di luar rumah.
Kuliah. Antar halid les. Belanja groceries. Jemput halid. Antar Halid cukur rambut.
Akumulasi senin-sabtu kerja.
7 to 7, di 2 tempat.
Today was the day when the kids decided to be more active and witty.
And tonight is the night when nuha decided to stay overnight at Jema’s house.
Left Halid crying all night before he fell asleep.
I was at my wits end.
Failed on the patience test that My Lord has put me through.
I wasn’t prepared for this.
I’m sorry but I’ve only been a month become a “mother”.
I’ve chosen this kind of life.
And yes I gotta fight for this.
Laahawla walaa quwatta illa billah.
No fear, my Lord.
I have YOU.